Understanding your immigrant parents

The immigrant experience is one that I am very familiar with. My family first immigrated from Taiwan to Guatemala when I was 7 and then to Canada when I was 12. I know first hand about the many stresses that are part and parcel of the immigrant journey. Now, as my parents settle into retirement in a country that somehow still isn't quite home, with a language they continue to struggle with, I worry about their quality of life in their latter years.

The New York Times today featured an article titled, Invisible Immigrants, Old and Left With ‘Nobody to Talk To’, which described the lonely fate of many older immigrants who find themselves isolated and out of synch with the culture of their adopted country and even those of their assimilated children. Although my parents have formed their own small social network of friends in Toronto and can manage most daily situations with their broken English, I can't help but see many of the article's troubling observations in our own family.

I am the only one of their children left in Toronto. My brother and sister are just a call away and manage to see my parents several times a year, but physically, I am their closest family member and the main one they rely on for assistance. If I am honest with myself, I haven't always shown the most patience or understanding towards them, and often struggle to see eye to eye with them on many issues. I worry that I won't be able to provide them with the support they will need in their old age.

The article reminded me that living in Canada isn't always easy for them and that I need to work on seeing things through their eyes and being more available to them, whether it be for help or companionship. I love my parents, even if like all parents, they drive their children crazy from time to time.